By Dave Downie

The worst of the weekend every Monday morning.

Silly handshakes. These needs to get in the bin right now. What’s worse is the fact that they seem to be spreading like wildfire with Christian Benteke and Mamadou Sakho the latest pair of clowns to be giving it a go. I’m all for new and innovative ways of celebrating goals, but this one is straight from furnace of Soccer AM banter hell. Just you watch, Tubes and the gang will be all over it with a band that’s been on the show every week after last releasing some music in 2009. Alternatively, you might well see it at the next televised darts event. It needs to go.

On the other hand, Lionel Messi’s celebration in the Clasico was absolutely fantastic. I’m all for standing in front of you biggest rivals who bitterly hate you and rubbing it right in their face. Apparently he’s having a poor season too according to yer Da. Just the 47 goals and counting.

Speaking of yer Da, there was plenty of them around over the weekend but it appears they don’t just limit themselves to the stands. Tony Adams was at his 50th birthday party dancing to Hey Baby best on the touchline on Friday night. The man just keeps on giving. But something that managed to usurp the arse-kicking Granda boss was a wonderful piece of commentary from Ray Hudson following Messi’s last-gasp winner. The former Newcastle and Fort Lauderdale midfield colossus pulled off a monologue straight from the Sid Waddell collection.

It also appears yer Da was north of the border at Hampden Park. The Old-Firm Scottish Cup semi-final was great entertainment wasn’t it? Well maybe not, but the post-match interviews provided some excellent television. The Rangers manager who nobody knows gave a tactical masterclass to the assembled media on what was supposed to happen during the match. He cleared the table in front of him and used some empty glasses to explain his back four’s positioning had it all gone to plan. Those glasses may have stood a better chance as the Gers were soundly beaten by their rivals and didn’t conjure an attempt on goal for more than hour.

And I can’t talk Old Firm without giving a mention to our old friend Brendan Rodgers. The all conquering Celtic boss is winning more than just the passing up there these days. His team of invincibles are now on course for the Scottish treble – the equivalent of me beating my cat on FIFA three times.

Jeff Stelling made the headlines on Saturday as well. The usually well-mannered Soccer Saturday presenter was all over social media for his impromptu rant about his beloved Hartlepool. But fair play to Jeff, I’m sure any football fan reading this and Evertonians in particular can empathise with him. There’s nothing worse than somebody telling you it’s only a game of football and you shouldn’t get worked up over it – for millions of us it means absolutely everything.

 

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